WHY FORGIVENESS IS ABOUT YOU, NOT THEM
Have you ever been wronged by someone SO BAD, that you feel like you could never forgive them? And it made you so angry, or hurt you so deeply, that you actually wished something bad would happen to them? I have. And I lived that way for YEARS.
There are times when it seems like life has intentionally and deliberately sent someone to punch us in the gut, and continue to kick us while we’re down- and it’s in those times where bitterness, hatred, resentment, and anger start to consume us. Negative emotions: boy, they sure are powerful – and easily multiply! And if we’re being completely honest, they’re easy to carry, and sometimes even fun. Feeling pissed off, feeling wronged, feeling like you need to get even- feels almost like a purpose, right? I used to LOVE the saying, “revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Did you catch it? I said that I used to. Holding a grudge traps no one else but person holding the grudge in a box. I had a friend who hurt me so bad, that I never wanted to speak to her again and didn’t even want to acknowledge her as having ever been part of my life. I held on to that grudge so tight, my hatred for her consumed me, and even started to affect the way I felt towards my other friendships and relationships.
What I couldn’t see at the time was that forgiveness didn’t lessen her wrong, or make it smaller in any way. Rather, that forgiveness would actually free me to move forward in life because I would no longer have to carry the burden of my anger. Forgiving her was not exactly for her, but instead for me. Once I decided to forgive and move on, I could let go of the negative emotions that were taking up so much space – which allowed me to have more joy in life, experience more happiness. I wasn’t truly joyful before because the negative emotions kept nagging at me and wouldn’t let me fully be free. Part of me was always angry just beneath the surface. After allowing myself to forgive, I was now able to live positively, openly, and receive more blessings as oppose to allowing the pain to stay in my heart.
But how did I come to realize that forgiving her was the right thing to do? Because when I had wronged someone, or if someone even thought that I had done wrong to them, I wanted to be forgiven. And if I expected people to forgive me for my mistakes (we’re all human, after all) then I would need to forgive others. If I want mercy, how could I ask for vengeance?
"Let it go." - Elsa
Forgive for your sake, for your happiness. This is YOUR life and negativity should not hold you down because you were meant to soar.
It’s so easy to be kind to nice people. Nice people are awesome; people we get along with, friendly people, smiley people. Easy. The challenge, which is where the personal growth happens, is being kind to - and even blessing - the people who do us wrong.
Note to self: Get past the hurt. Don’t wallow in it. Moving on and forgiving allows us to soar again, instead of being weighed down, keeping part of ourselves stuck in the “grudge box.” Break free, bless and release. Yes, waaaay easier said than done. But with practice, the good thing is it can be done. We can start small, and slowly, eventually, move on to bigger things.
Bless and release that terrible driver that cut you off today. (Maybe he was in a hurry to get home because he had to take his wife to the hospital?)
Bless and release your boss for giving the promotion to someone else. (The universe is lining you up for something bigger and better.)
Bless and release the boy who broke your heart when you thought he was the “one.” (The relationship wasn’t ready- there’s someone else that was meant for you.)
Bless and release YOUR FEARS AND WORRIES. (This is a big deal, and no small feat. But- you are meant for greatness, and fear does not serve your growth, friend.)
Take a page out of Elsa’s Frozen book: Let it go; don’t let it hold you back anymore. Forgive for your sake, for your happiness. This is YOUR life and negativity should not hold you down because you were meant to soar. Be bold, shine bright. I believe in you!
